Prompt: Map your bedroom in words.

Entry:

To the Left
Two dozen red roses, clipped
snuggled up tight
adorning a white desk
my baby fills the vase
just Right
Vines sitting atop a matching white wardrobe
shimmering velvet leaves grown long,
hanging over the edge
determined,
I forget to water her but she's strong.
Below
A fun-sized bed
I slide to the middle
pushing my baby to the edge
he scoots me over
I growl
like the brown bear
Above
Printed photo on wood
a guardian
steeped in strength
peaking out of the river
unmoved.

Prompt: Begin with "I'm thinking of" and every time you get stuck simply come back again to "I'm thinking of" and keep going.

Entry: I'm thinking of the irritating sensation radiating from the mosquito bites on my hands and feet and how much I crave the relief that would come from the pleasure of scratching them. I'm thinking of how hard it is to resist the temptation to scratch, which is a trap.

I'm thinking of how hard it is to resist many temptations, the temptation to fill myself with empty dopamine, the temptation to swap my deep knowing for persuasive beliefs in negative or pessimistic thoughts, and the temptation to wallow in the heavy feelings that result from those thoughts.

I'm thinking of the allergies that plague me and how hard it is to forget about them when my throat and the corners of my eyes are itching profusely, demanding to be rubbed. Another trap.

I'm thinking of my baby, and how he lovingly holds me through the breakdown of my reality as I wake up into the next one. I'm thinking of my family and how blessed I am to know what unconditional love feels like.

I'm thinking of how much I've allowed the fear of other people's discomfort and triggers to keep me from living and expressing authentically, as if their reactions are my fault or responsibility. I'm thinking of how this very fear is baseless and a figment of my imagination, a mental projection.

I'm thinking of how many people live in the world, all of whom are unique and one of a kind, and I can't help but wonder how to improve the world when everyone is so different. What do we do when our beliefs and ideologies keep us from aligning on a way of being or doing things that would serve us and the planet in a better way?

I'm thinking of the necessary existence of duality and how nothing would exist without it.

I'm thinking of this present moment, and how my experience of it is always a direct reflection of my mental state, not a reflection of me.

I am the reflector, not the reflection. Or perhaps I am the reflector and the reflection? I think it's time for me to stop thinking now.

Prompt: What are you waiting for?

Entry:

I am waiting
In the sweet silence of stillness
for my heart to open
she is like the bud of a flower past due
clenched tightly, she wonders
what will happen after the bloom?
little does she know
how mesmerizing the beauty
how delectable the nectar
how irresistible the scent
how divine the transformation
not from her acquiescence
but from the initiation into her
surrender

Prompt: Tell your story of love.

Entry: There are numerous stories of love I could share:

• There's the story of how I met my partner, how we fell in love, and how we have been inseparable ever since.
• There's the story of the moment I was struck by an overwhelmingly expansive love for all beings while sitting on a train in a foreign country, surrounded by people I didn't know.
• There's the story of learning how to love myself.
• And there are of course the stories of heartbreak and of breaking hearts.

But none of these feel quite right to share here because they are a part of a much larger love story, which still leaves me with the question: what is my story of love?

Love is such an expansive topic, and my story of love is a never ending story. It is a story that is still being written and one that I believe will not end until the end of my life; though I have a hunch this story of love will continue on with me into wherever I end up next.

If I had to summarize my love story up until now I would say it has been the intentional process of learning how to love the lovable while simultaneously learning how to love the unlovable.

It has been the full embrace of myself, my life, and all that is and isn't, while allowing myself to fully experience it all.

It has been the growing in and of love.

The more I think about it, the more I see that my entire life is a story of love unfolding.

Prompt: Write for ten minutes using a number in every line.

Entry: Five years ago I spent 56 days in Spain.
Every night after a day spent walking 4.3 miles,
sitting on a train for 45 minutes,
learning Spanish for 1 hour,
teaching English for 4 hours,
and working a remote job for another 4 hours
I would practically collapse in the small room I was staying in and use the little energy I had left to reconnect with myself through a yoga practice, meditation, or journaling, sometimes for as little as five minutes.

One evening, after writing about whatever experiences or realizations had come up for me that day, I found myself suddenly struck by the idea of getting a tattoo while in Spain.

For the entire 27 years I had lived up to that point, I was pretty set on remaining tattooless for my entire life, but also.. "why not get a tattoo while in Spain having a spiritual experience?" I thought.

I became drawn to two very simple tattoo ideas: A triangle with its three sides: symbolic of the holy trinity in its many interpretations, and a circle, with its zero-sided continuous loop: symbolic of wholeness.

I wanted these tattoos to have a simple line art style, no thicker than one centimeter wide, and I wanted them to be placed on the inside of each forearm.

After being stabbed by a microneedle at least three hundred and fifty four times I was officially initiated into the cult of tattooed folk, though I never did catch tattoo fever.

Three years later my cousin would look down at my tattoos while walking alongside me and ask: "So, when are you going to get tattoos of the other two PlayStation buttons?"

I laughed, and although I have no intention of ever getting a tattoo in the shape of an X or a square, I do enjoy knowing that my two little tattoos can be interpreted in simple or profound ways.

After all, a tattoo can simply be a tattoo, but it can also mean anything you want it to mean.
I think this is true of everything in life, and that is profound.

Prompt: What is peaceful in your life?

Entry: Peace is a constant that resides in the undercurrent of my life, but I've found that it only rises to the surface of my experience in moments of acceptance; usually after an emotional storm has passed, or a realization has occurred, and only if I am steeped in the present moment. I don't think it's possible to be completely present without also being in a state of acceptance.

Prompt: What aren't you thinking about?

Entry: I'm not thinking about how this piece of writing is going to end, and I didn't think about how it would begin. I find it fascinating how I can be sitting in my bed at this moment, transcribing thoughts that effortlessly appear in my mind which are going to flow into a written experience that I have yet to see.

As much as I've fantasized about it, I'm not one of those people who enjoys writing by hand. For the longest time I wanted to have beautiful handwriting and for my journals to grow lush with entries from front to back, but my handwriting has always been mediocre and my journals only ever end up a quarter full.

I've heard many times that writing pen to paper is best, but I don't care. I prefer to use a computer because my long fingers can type at least 10 times faster than they can write, and more importantly: typing is the gift that allows me to write at the speed of my thoughts.

It's rare that I'm not thinking or actively using my brain in some capacity, but it is in the freedom of those moments that I feel the most at peace. It's also in those moments that I open myself up to hearing something deeper than what resides on the surface of life.

I experieced this on a walk I went on the other day. It was one of those beautiful spring days in Washington. The clouds looked like massive white puff balls as they drifted across the bright blue sky. The temperature had a slight bite to it. It was cool against my skin but a perfect counter to the warmth that effortlessly spread through me as I walked at a moderately fast pace.

I often listen to audiobooks during my walks so I can learn something while simultaneously getting outside and moving my body, but on this particular day my mind was feeling heavy, weighed down by a dull fogginess, and unable to absorb much information.

Somewhat begrudgingly, because I was tired and this wasn't what I had planned, I decided to indulge in a favorite past-time of mine and something I hadn't done much of recently, walking as a form of meditation. I use the word meditation loosely here to mean "choosing to be as present as I possibly can".

The first thing I noticed after shifting my intention was that my shoulders were feeling tight, a side effect of my mindless tendency to curve myself into a ball as I work, so I decided to open my arms out as wide as I could while continuing to walk forward. My lips curled up as I slowly welcomed breaths of nourishing oxygen into my lungs, and my eyes closed as my skin drank in the warmth of the sun.

I wonder what people would think if they saw me in that moment, enveloped with the pleasure of the sensations I was experiencing. I wonder why it feels scary to be witnessed in moments of pleasure. It's almost as if it is dirty to feel this good.

I kept my pace up as I approached a hill, and I found myself suddenly in awe of the new growth that surrounded me. Newborn leaves swayed in the wind on branches high above me, and I saw how these vibrant green babies were as eager to drink in the sun as I was.

In that moment a knowing crossed my mind, a recognition of not only the beauty of these trees but a reminder of the truth that we are inextricably linked and that the earth supports all of life.

My heart softened as tears flooded my eyes, and I found myself experiencing a combination of bliss from the gratitude that was beginning to blossom in my chest, along with a deep ache that arose to lovingly aid in the release of my tears.

There are so many things I forget to think about. Beautiful things. Positive things. The power I have to create my life. The creativity that lies beneath the sludge of my cyclically unoriginal and anxiety-induced brainwaves.

And to think, all I did to experience what I experienced during this walk was to choose presence over distraction. It's always this simple, but unfortunately it's far too easy to fall back asleep instead of choosing to do something different or better.

This is the cycle of life that I often find myself in: waking up, remembering, falling asleep, forgetting.

Over and over and over again.

Maybe one day it'll be easier for me to stay awake.

Prompt: What did you bring—in your purse, on a trip, to a party, in your suitcase, in your book bag, in your car?

Entry: I like to travel light. Historically, I was the girl who preferred to travel a country with nothing more than a backpack. It was important to me that the backpack I traveled with be small enough to meet an airline's carry-on size limit, but large enough so that it would cause me just a little bit of anxiety every time I was met with the challenge of squeezing it into the compact space that is an overhead bin. There was always a risk that my bag wouldn't fit, but it always did, thanks to my naturally wiry arm strength.

It's been years since I last went backpacking in another country, and I have since found myself in a beautiful relationship with a man who refuses to travel light. Anytime we go on a trip, whether it be a day trip or an overnight trip, it's very likely that he'll bring an extra pair of everything, a backpack full of all the things we might need, and plenty of other items just for the luxury of having them.

He prioritizes his wants along with his needs and brings everything to all things. I've found this to be true of not just the tangible things he brings along with him, but also his approach to life.

You see, he never settles for less than what he wants or needs, no matter how big or small, and he devotes himself completely to all that he values: his relationships, his family, and his commitment to excellence, among other things.

I may still be naturally inclined to travel lightly, but I have found myself influenced by his approach to travel and to life, and I know I am better for it.

Prompt: How are you invisible?

Entry:
I am invisible in all the ways I am not seen
To be seen is to be understood
To be understood is to be known
To be known is to be held
To be held is to be given grace
To be given grace is to be loved
To be loved is to be lifted
To be lifted is to be pushed
past the threshold of the interwoven synapses
of my brain,
a map influenced by all that is
not me,
meant to be re-written
so that I may grow

I am seen by few
and invisible to many
But I don't mind

Prompt: Nothing at all happened.

Entry: As a little girl I was enamored with my stuffed animals, which I would curl myself into every night, but only after first exhausting my exuberant energy until I could no longer will my eyes to stay open.

I clearly remember my soft and cuddly collection, which primarily consisted of stuffed horses and a lumpy pink duck billed platypus, an animal my dad would often make silly jokes about growing up.

I adored my stuffed animals so much as a child that I desperately wanted them to be alive. My heart bursted with joy at the thought of it, and having just recently learned about God and prayer, I knew exactly how I was going to make that happen: I would pray my animals to life.

One day while alone in my room, I brought my hands into a prayer position in front of my lips, closed my eyes, and politely asked aloud: "God, can you please make my stuffed animals come to life?". I made sure to include "please" in my prayer because I knew the power of that magic word, which would often lead to the fulfillment of my requests.

I envisioned the moment I would open my eyes, how my room would suddenly be rumbling with activity, filled with vibrant energy as my beloved horses pranced playfully around the room, neighing and whinnying as they do.

I imagined how wonderful it would be to have endless company to play with, and to be protected by my stuffed animal friends every time I felt afraid. At that age I was terrified of the monsters that lurked in my imagination and haunted my dreams, and I deeply longed for a feeling of safety.

With my eyes squeezed tightly shut, and my hands pressed firmly together, I prayed and I wished and I asked with all my might that my prayer be answered. I waited for the sound of motion, but nothing at all happened. As I slowly opened my eyes and my vision cleared, I was met with a quiet solitude and the bitter taste of disappointment.

As silly as it may sound, I remember questioning God's existence after that experience, and I wouldn't intentionally begin my spiritual journey for at least 15 more years, but that's another story.

Prompt: If you became president, what are the first five actions you would take? Go.

Entry: I'm going to begin by saying that I have no business being president. I was mediocre in my college Political Science course and couldn't explain our political system to anyone in fine detail, nor do I have any experience in politics or know people in high places.

With that said, if I became president, I feel my lack of experience would either lead to my downfall or serve as an asset. After all, I would be entering into the role with fresh eyes.

There is a quote by Albert Einstein that goes: "Everyone knew it was impossible, until a fool who didn't know came along and did it".

At heart I am an idealist who deeply longs for harmony and believes we can do better individually and collectively. Perhaps this makes me a fool, but I would argue that it's far better to be a fool than a politician.

Oozing with corruption, politicians have made themselves exceptionally hard to trust. I think this is one reason millions of people feel so enamored with Donald Trump, because he speaks his mind instead of strategically filtering his words to sweeten us up.

What saddens me most about the way our country is run is how money and power have become the purveyor of truth over the actual truth, how our actions as a country continuously show that we value money over people, and how our current process for electing leaders lacks intention or an emphasis on the values and qualities we want our leader to embody.

If I became president, the very first action I would take is to dissolve the two party system and remove all labels surrounding political parties. Humans are far too complex to fit perfectly into one label, and labels have a tendency to dehumanize and fuel division.

Conservativism and Progressiveness may oppose each other on the political spectrum, but both are equally valuable and important.

Conservatism teaches us to conserve what is tradition, what is sacred, and to never forget where we came from. Progressiveness teaches us to make progress on our journeys, to reflect on what is no longer working, and then to actively change those things so we can become better.

Instead of hiding behind and representing a specific party during an election, candidates would represent themselves. They would tell us about the mistakes they've made in their life and what they learned from them. They would share with us their biggest accomplishments and what they are most proud of.

They would tell us about their values and, most importantly, show us how they live and have lived according to those values. They would tell us about their vision for the country and the positive change they feel called to help create.

Debates would no longer resemble a battleground, and would instead be carried out consciously and respectfully. Candidates would devote their energy to speaking their own beliefs and truths, and would share any opposition they held with respect, instead of insulting or defaming their opponents as a tactic for winning.

The second action I would take as president is to ban all non-organic, non-regenerative, and inhumane farming practices and foods. There would no longer be a conventional category for food. All food would be cultivated respectfully and healthfully with the sole intention of supporting and nurturing our bodies at the highest level possible.

The third action I would take as president is to restructure the public school system to be skill-based instead of fact-based. Our current education system fails to teach students valuable life skills including emotional intelligence, how to communicate consciously and effectively, how to be in healthy relationship with others and the self, how to eat and move the body for optimal health, and how to manage money.

In addition to a core curriculum that would teach students these valuable life skills and other important foundational skills, a custom curriculum would be formulated for each student so they could explore and develop their own inherent inclinations and interests.

Once a student felt sure of their path and had gained the necessary foundational knowledge, they would either join an apprenticeship so they could continue to learn and develop practical skills in the real world, or they would create their own self-paved path with the help of mentors.

The fourth action I would take as president is to completely restructure our primary healthcare system. Primary care doctors would be rebranded as healers, and their sole purpose would be to help guide those who are unwell back into perfect health.

These healers would be given a robust education focused on holistic and preventative healthcare that takes the human mind, body, heart, and spirit into account. They would learn about and use a variety of remedies and modalities to support healing and would create customized healing plans for their patients instead of prescribing a pill and sending their patients on their way.

Pharmaceutical drugs would be prescribed temporarily as a final resort and only when necessary. Specialty doctors (we'll also call them healers) would still exist, along with diagnostic equipment, emergency services, and surgical remedies. Healthcare would be affordable, and emergency services would always be free of charge.

The fifth action I would take as president is to surround myself with experts from a variety of fields because I know that in order to inspire real change in this hypothetical scenario, I would need a lot of help. In fact, I'm going to shift this up to number one on my action list because that makes more sense logically, but it also happens to be the least interesting action in the bunch which is why I'm going to leave it down here.

And that's the end of my presidential pitch. Even though I have no intention of ever running for president, I am hopeful for the future and am committed to doing my best to inspire positive change in all the ways that I can.